Sunday, September 30, 2012

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 8)


The second step of humility is not to love having our own way nor to delight in our own desires.
(From para. 8 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Delight in my own desires, as wonderful as it sounds, is but an aspect of my heart closed in on itself. When life breaks open a heart, as it does, it breaks it open to love the whole world.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 7)


And so, if the eyes of the Lord are watching the good and the wicked, and if at all times the Lord looks down from heaven on the sons and daughters of men to see if any show understanding in seeking God, and if the angels assigned to care for us report our deeds to the Lord day and night, we must be on our guard every hour or else, as the psalmist says, the time may come when God will observe us falling into evil and so made worthless.
(From para. 7 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

How can I be made worthless? How could I possibly be made worthless? I'm not sure that that could truly be the fate of a child of God. And yet, I grasp St. Benedict's urgent message for me to stay awake, to stay aware of God's constant presence, and to seek God constantly. St Paul says that it's in God that I live, and move, and have my being. That is the relationship, already present, that keeps me from being "worthless".

Friday, September 28, 2012

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 6-7)

As to pursuing our own will we are warned against that when scripture says to us: turn away from your own desires; and in the Lord's prayer itself we pray that his will may be brought to fulfilment in us.
(From para. 6 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

In the practice of saying the mantra, I learn to turn away from my own will.  Fr. John teaches me that this is the way of poverty of spirit, leading to purity of heart. When my heart is finally pure, the Lord's will may also be mine.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 5)


One who follows that way finds protection at all times from sin and vice of thought, of tongue, of hand, of foot, of self-will and of disordered sensual desire, so as to lead a life that is completely open before the scrutiny of God and of his angels who watch over us from hour to hour.
(From para. 5 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

The disorder of the human condition, of my condition, is always seeking true harmony and integrity in God -- that is, alignment with my Source.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 4)


The first step of humility is to cherish at all times the sense of awe with which we should turn to God. It should drive forgetfulness away...
(From para. 4 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

The first step of humility, it seems to me, is nothing less than continuous prayer! "To cherish at all times the sense of awe with which [I] should turn to God" is what the practice of meditation teaches me, little by little, day after day, for a lifetime.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 1-3)


The Word of God in scripture teaches us in clear and resounding terms that anyone who lays claim to a high position will be brought low and anyone who is modest in self-appraisal will be lifted up.
(From para. 1 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

"Anyone who is modest in self-appraisal will be lifted up", Benedict says. John Main teaches me that on the way to true self-knowledge (modest self-appraisal) I must learn, through meditation, to live out of the center of my being. In doing so, I must learn stability. "The essential stability is the reality of our own being", he says, "and how many are in touch with that?" (Silence and Stillness, p. 267)

Monday, September 24, 2012

Chapter 6: Cherishing silence in the monastery


I am guarded about the way I speak and have accepted silence in humility refraining even from words that are good.
(From para. 1 of Ch. 6 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Listening to the mantra has taught me how to listen to others.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraphs 4-5)


We should remember, however, that such obedience will be acceptable to God and rewarding to us, if we carry out the orders given us in a way that is not fearful, nor slow, nor half-hearted, nor marred by murmuring or the sort of compliance that betrays resentment.
(From para. 4 of Ch. 5 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

In the translation of the Rule that I'm reading, Abbot Barry notes that murmuring is not a legitimate means for dealing with the complaints that may arise in community, and thus it can destroy confidence in community life. He goes on to say that, for the individuals who murmur, "[murmuring] becomes increasingly addictive and [murmurers] develop a corresponding blindness to the harm they are doing to themselves and to others." Meditation makes me increasingly alert to habits of my mind and heart that arise from a false sense of self, so that I may stay true to my discipline of saying the mantra.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraphs 1-3)


The first step on the way to humility is to obey an order without delaying for a moment. That is a response which comes easily to those who hold nothing dearer than Christ himself.
(From para. 1 of Ch. 5 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

If my "abbess" is the inner teacher, or God speaking to me through others, Benedict's injunction could sometimes lead me, not to obedience, but to impulsivity or confusion, if my discernment isn't clear, and my ego is in overdrive. But "holding nothing dearer than Christ himself" is a fruit of meditation -- a grounding in the heart, and a responsiveness borne of love. 

Friday, September 21, 2012

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 9-13)


You should take delight in listening to sacred reading and in often turning generously to prayer.
(From para. 9 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

There's no doubt in my mind that a fruit of meditation is the gradual expansion of spirit into the flow of ever more continuous prayer. 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 6-8)


Keep the reality of death always before your eyes, have a care about how you act every hour of your life and be sure that God is present everywhere and that he certainly sees and understands what you are about.
(From para. 7 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

In order to see the reality of death and the presence of God, I must live in the present moment with selfless attention. If I can live this way in the present moment, I'm in relationship with my source and my destiny -- coming from love, for love, being able to love.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 3-5)


Don't let your actions be governed by anger nor nurse your anger against a future opportunity of indulging it.
(From para. 3 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I've experienced the raw, destructive power of anger -- my own, and that of others.  The strange image of "nursing anger" reveals for me the seductive qualities of the ego, trying to make me believe that a volatile, self-centered emotion could somehow be nurturing to me. Meditation helps me to recognize, and accept, an ego in need of transformation, and to grow in self-knowledge. Meditation also helps me to recognize who truly and tenderly dwells in my heart.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 1-2)

The first of all things to aim at is to love the Lord God with your whole heart and soul and strength and then to love your neighbour as much as you do yourself.
(From para. 1 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Benedict's straightforward, practical, Biblical injunctions remind me that everything I need for "Christian and monastic good practice" is right here and right now -- in this moment -- if only I look centerward to God, and outward to those around me. 

Chapter 3: Calling the community together for consultation (paragraphs 2-3)


Such is the appropriate way to conform to that precept of scripture: If you act always after hearing the counsel of others, you will avoid the need to repent of your decision afterwards.
(From para. 3 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I'm grateful when the Spirit inspires me with energy and initiative; it's come to feel like a very trustworthy partnership! And yet, I also know that to act within a loving community requires counsel, discernment, and patience, for the very reason that the movement must be of the Spirit, and not of my ego.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Chapter 3: Calling the community together for consultation (paragraph 1)


The community themselves should be careful to offer their advice with due deference and respect, avoiding an obstinate defence of their own convictions.
(From para. 1 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I think assumptions and self-defense rule many conversations, even subtly between friends. Meditation teaches me gradually to recognize the control tactics of my ego. May I truly learn to express the deference and respect that spring from the transparent heart. 

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 8-9)


It is above all important that monastic superiors should not underrate or think lightly of the salvation of the souls committed to them by giving too much attention to transient affairs of this world which have no lasting value.
(From para. 8 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Am I in the presence of God as I move throughout my day, or am I in the fabrications of my ego?

Friday, September 14, 2012

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 7)


It is the task of the superiors to adapt with sympathetic understanding to the needs of each so that they may not only avoid any loss but even have the hoy of increasing the number of good sheep in the flock committed to them.
(From para. 7 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Adapting with sympathetic understanding, it seems to me, is a fruit of selfless attention. Such attention has the power to transform my consciousness, and thus the consciousness of the world, through my simple, faithful practice.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 5-6)

They should make their own the different ways of teaching which the Apostle Paul recommended to Timothy when he told him to make use of criticism, of entreaty and of rebuke.
(From para. 5 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Deep, non-judgmental listening, open acceptance from the heart -- these are qualities I treasure, and from which emerge appropriate ways of relating to another. Meditation makes me more aware of the loving silence and selfless patience needed for true relationship.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Chapter 2: Gifts needs by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 4)


Otherwise all must keep their proper place in the community order, because whether slave or free we are all one in Christ and we owe an equal service in the army of one Lord, who shows no special favour to one rather than another.
(From para. 4 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Sometimes I'm very aware that I move through my day reacting, even if subtly, to people, labelling them as toxic, challenging, complex, encouraging, delightful, and so on. Meditation teaches me to detach myself from these defensive or self-centered labels, and to see everyone as they are, infinite.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 3)


Any, then, who accept the name of abbot or abbess should give a lead to their disciples by two distinct methods of teaching -- by the example of the lives they lead (and that is the most important way) and by the words they use in their teaching.
(From para. 3 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

The experience of the practice of meditation teaches me about authenticity. Growing little by little in self-knowledge, I feel that I become more truly myself, as God intended me.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 2)


However, it is also true that, if the flock has been unruly and disobedient and the superiors have done everything possible as shepherds to cure their vicious ways, then they will be absolved in the judgement of God and may say with the psalmist: I have not hidden your teaching in my heart; I have proclaimed your truth and the salvation you offer, but they despised and rejected me.
(From para. 1 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I have not hidden your teaching in my heart: May the Lord grant me the grace to say this psalm in truth, firstly by the fruits of meditation, and also through my Oblate commitment to share the gift of meditation and the teaching of the community.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 1)


[E]verything he or she commands or teaches should be like a leaven of the holiness that comes from God infused into the minds of their disciples.
(From para. 1 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

The rising power of leaven vividly speaks to me of a consciousness that is expanded by the power of selfless attention. For me, the practice of meditation is the greatest teacher.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Chapter 1: Four approaches to monastic life


For a rule of life [sarabaites] have only the satisfaction of their own desires. Any precept they think up for themselves and then decide to adopt they do not hesitate to call holy. Anything they dislike they consider inadmissible.
 (From para. 1 of Ch. 1 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I'm reminded of John Main's teaching that in practicing fidelity to the mantra and the times of twice-daily meditation, I don't also need to create all kinds of self-improving resolutions for myself. I can spare myself the anxiety of worrying about what practices to choose, for example, thinking: Should I spend this time meditating, or getting out and walking, and if I go walking, should I do power walking or contemplative walking?, and so on. This kind of thinking could end up entangling me in the satisfaction of my desires. From the poverty of the mantra flows a creative rhythm which will shape my day in the consciousness of the Spirit.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 8)


If, however, you find in it anything which seems rather strict, but which is demanded reasonably for the correction of vice or the preservation of love, do not let that frighten you into fleeing from the way of salvation; it is a way which is bound to seem narrow to start with.
(From para. 8 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

In my experience, the mantra corrects the vice of distraction, and "preserves" selfless attention. I agree that it's a way which seems narrow to start with. But, through faithful practice, and in God's own time, I know it's the way for me to clarity and freedom.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 7)


We must, therefore, prepare our hearts and bodies to serve him under the guidance of holy obedience.
(From para. 7 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

As I understand it, meditation is the most incarnational form of prayer there is. In my heart, "the organ of love" as John Main calls it, all the parts of myself are harmonized and unified in the simple experience of being in the presence of Christ. Silence of the mind, stillness of the body, loving fidelity to the mantra -- the practice to which I strive to be obedient -- will gradually gather together my fragmented experience, and make me whole.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 6)


For that very reason also, so that we may mend our evil ways, the days of our mortal lives are allowed us as a sort of truce for improvement.
(From para. 6 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I'm not sure, but I think the word truce is related to the word trust, or the word truth.  God offers me the truce of my entire life, because God absolutely trusts me to find him, in Spirit and in truth. 

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Prologue to The Rule (paragraph 5)


And so to prepare ourselves for the journey before us let us renew our faith and set ourselves high standards by which to lead our lives. The gospel should be our guide in following the way of Christ to prepare ourselves for his presence in the kingdom to which he has called us.
(From para. 5 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

The highest standard for my life is to be fully conscious of the presence of Christ, who dwells within my heart. Poverty of spirit is the way; purity of heart is the goal. Saying the mantra in loving fidelity guides me to the kingdom within, in the spirit of the gospel.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Prologue to The Rule (paragraph 4)


If you [answer, "I"], he says, I shall look on you with such love and my ears will be so alert to your prayer that, before you so much as call on me, I shall say to you: here I am. 
(From para. 4 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

The consciousness of the person of Jesus dwells in my heart: I am already in relationship, in the most intimate way, and all my outward relationships are meant to flow from this reality.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 3)


However late, then, it may seem, let us rouse ourselves from lethargy. That is what scripture urges on us when it says: the time has come for us to rouse ourselves from sleep. Let us open our eyes to the light that can change us into the likeness of God.
(From para. 3 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

Through the practice of selfless attention, my mind may be transformed into the mind of Christ. Lethargy causes me to forget this. Faith reminds me of the experience of consciousness of Jesus dwelling in my heart. Discipline helps me to remember faith.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Prologue to The Rule (paragraphs 1-2)


Listen, child of God, to the guidance of your teacher. Attend to the message you hear and make sure that it pierces to your heart, so that you may accept with willing freedom and fulfil by the way you live the directions that come from your loving Father.
(From para. 1 of the Prologue to Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)

I've never before thought of the mantra as a sword that "pierces to [my] heart", but this morning that image moves me powerfully, with the pain of suffering and the selfless precision of love.