Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 2)
However, it is also true that, if the flock has been unruly and disobedient and the superiors have done everything possible as shepherd to cure their vicious ways, then they will be absolved in the judgement of God and may say with the psalmist: I have not hidden my teaching in your heart; I have proclaimed your truth and the salvation you offer, but they despised and rejected me. (From para. 2 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
As Mother Theresa would say: Be kind anyway.
With my modern sensibilities, I recoil a bit to see Benedict citing here the Book of Proverbs: “the fool is not corrected with words” (23; 29:19), “Beat your son with the rod, and you will deliver his soul from death” (23:13-14). When our two children went through adolescence, I had to learn the hard way the wisdom of the first quote. In other words I had to give up taking over your role, Abba, that is, overprotectively playing God. I had to learn that tough love means not being tough on my children or anyone else for whom I have some responsibility, but, rather, being tough on myself. I have to learn a bit of humility, let go with love, and allow them to grow through suffering their behavior’s natural consequences.
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