Chapter 26: Unlawful association with the excommunicated
If any member of the community presumes without the permission of the abbot or abbess to associate in any way with or speak to or give instructions to one who has been excommunicated then that person should receive exactly the same punishment of excommunication. (Ch. 26 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)
Presumption, arrogance, the sins of pride -- Benedict is warning me against myself and my "good intentions". He reminds me that what I think is good for another may be based on my own self-importance or desire to control, determined that I know how to live another's life better than he or she does. Benedict wants to preserve conditions that make it possible for those who have separated themselves from God, to have the solitude and the stillness to hear the Inner Teacher.
Presumption, arrogance, the sins of pride -- Benedict is warning me against myself and my "good intentions". He reminds me that what I think is good for another may be based on my own self-importance or desire to control, determined that I know how to live another's life better than he or she does. Benedict wants to preserve conditions that make it possible for those who have separated themselves from God, to have the solitude and the stillness to hear the Inner Teacher.
I still hate this chapter of the Rule, Abba! I rebel at any suggestion that a well-meaning guy like me could make things worse for someone I am sincerely trying to help and love with all my heart. For heaven’s sake! What could be wrong with my trying to communicate directly with my teenage son? At sixteen he had “excommunicated” himself from us, departing with a commentary on how he had been cursed by being born to the two stupidest parents on the planet! I had to learn and re-learn how easily my good intentions could pave the way to hell, including the hell my loved one was going through. Twenty-one years later he is a fine young husband and father of two, all thanks to you, Abba, and to his credit. The only right thing we did, Abba, was to learn a little humility, get outside help, and move out of your and his way.
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