Chapter 1: Four approaches to monastic life

Finally those called gyrovagues are the fourth kind of monk. They spend their whole life going round one province after another enjoying the hospitality for three or four days at a time at any sort of monastic cell or community. They are always on the move; they never settle to put down the roots of stability; it is their own will that they serve as they seek the satisfaction of their own gross appetites. They are in every way worse than the sarabaites. (Para. 4 of Ch. 1 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This is a pretty good description of my occasional states of mind -- too often at the time of meditation -- always on the move, never settling down, serving my own will, seeking the satisfaction of my imagination, ideas, images, moods, my own "gross appetites".  And yet St. Benedict calls me to be stable.  The practice for this stability is in silence and stillness. Saying the mantra. Simply -- embracingly -- to be.