Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 13)
The sixth step of humility for monks or nuns is to accept without complaint really wretched and inadequate conditions so that when faced with a task of any kind they would think of themselves as poor workers not worthy of consideration and repeat to God the verse of the psalm: I am of no account and lack understanding, no better than a beast in your sight. Yet I am always in your presence. (From para. 13 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Psalm, trans. by Patrick Barry OSB, 1997.)
The important sentence here, for me, is the last one. It's hard for me to read Benedict's admonition to think of myself as worthless, as a healthy state of mind. But the fact is I sometimes do feel quite unworthy, or worse. The way through that is not in "self-help" exercises, but in remembering that I am nothing without God -- and yet, I am always in his presence. What changes is my fickle point of view. What is constant and redeeming is the divine energy that sustains me.
This step speaks to me of non-duality; like the sun and its light – not one, not two. Jesus commands us to love our neighbour as ourselves. Surely He cannot be directing us to despise ourselves. Perhaps He, through St Benedict, directs us to despise our egos, which is the aspect of us which makes us feel “wretched and inadequate” and hides from us our true self. Perhaps the most important relationship we will ever have is the relationship, in Christ, with ourself. Then we discover who we truly are – creations not only in the image of God, but in His likeness – not one, not two.
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