Chapter 73: This Rule is only a beginning

The purpose for which we have written this rule is to make it clear that by observing it in our monasteries we can at least achieve the first steps in virtue and good monastic practice. (From para. 1 of Ch. 73 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

These are welcome words to me today, as consoling as John Main's assurance that, "in meditation, we are all beginners".  St. Benedict accepts me as I am, offers me both compassion and challenge, and guides me to trust the Lord.

Chapter 72: The good spirit which should inspire monastic life

It is easy to recognize the bitter spirit of wickedness which creates a barrier to God's grace and opens the way to the evil of hell. But equally there is a good spirit which frees us from evil ways and brings us closer to God and eternal life. (From Ch. 72 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I know that I have both good in the evil in myself, both love and alienation. And yet, I wish not to be judgmental, even about these matters, if my judgment comes from my ego. Meditation teaches me an openness, tolerance and compassion that seeks out the redemptive qualities of experience.

Chapter 71: Mutual obedience in the monastery

Obedience is of such value that it should be shown not only to the superior but all members of the community should be obedient to each other in the sure knowledge that this way of obedience is the one that will take them straight to God. (From para. 1 of Ch. 71 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Quakers speak of "seeing that of God in each other". With this kind of vision, Benedict's teaching on mutual obedience makes sense to me. Obedience mean relating -- to all of creation -- with the eye of love.

Chapter 70: The offence of striking another

Every occasion for presumptuous behaviour in a monastery must be avoided, so we insist that no one in the community may excommunicate or strike another unless given the power to do so by the superior. (From Ch. 70 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

When I "presume" to act, I'm driven by my ego, instead of the authority of unself-conscious love. Meditation helps me to be more aware of my presumptuous ego.

Chapter 69: No one should act as advocate for another

Such a thing must not happen in the monastery because it would provide a very serious occasion of scandal. (From Ch. 69 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict is encouraging me to be aware of those situations when I think I know what is best for someone else, and then try to force the issue. What seems like trying to help can actually be pompous and disrespectful. I must realize that it is often best to let another learn from the consequences of his or her own behavior.

Chapter 68: The response to orders that seem impossible

If the superior after listening to this submission still insists on the original command, then the junior must accept that it is the right thing and with loving confidence in the help of God obey. (From Ch. 68 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Christ blesses me with those who challenge my perceptions of my limitations. In this way, what I might dismiss as mere weakness, becomes, through deep listening, my "growing edge". This growth may help me to become of greater service to others.

Chapter 67: Those sent on a journey

Those who are sent on a journey should commend themselves to the prayers of all the community as well as of the superior, and, at the last prayer of the work of God in the oratory, there should always be a momento of all who may be absent. (From Ch. 67 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Sometimes my journeys are the undesirable ones of wandering from life-giving routine, from loving spiritual discipline. But bringing myself back from distraction and judgment, practicing selfless attention, I experience a "memento", a reminder, of who I really am.

Chapter 66: The porter or portress of the monastery

At the entrance to the monastery there should be a wise senior who is too mature in stability to think of wandering about and who can deal with enquiries and give whatever help is required. (From para. 1 of Ch. 66 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I can glimpse the possibility of an inner emotional stability as a fruit of meditation. My emotions are a part of being human, and I experience their transience. I hope to befriend them, in their peace or drama, in their coming or going. Stability helps me to open my heart to the presence of Christ, to discover compassion for my own wayward feelings, and thus, greater compassion towards the difficult emotions of others.

Chapter 65: The prior or prioress of the monastery (paragraphs 2-3)

We have no doubt, therefore, that it is best in the interests of preserving peace and charity that the authority for the whole administration of the monastery should rest with the abbot or abbess. (From para. 2 of Ch. 65 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I have faith that with one overriding purpose -- the practice of unselfconscious attention -- my inner conflicts can become more peaceful, and my relationships can become more charitable.

Chapter 65: The prior or prioress of the monastery (paragraph 1)

There have been instances when some of these officials have conceived out of an evil spirit of self-importance that they also are superiors and for that reasons have assumed the powers of a tyrant, so that they encourage scandalous divisions in the community. (From para. 1 of Ch. 65 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

There have been instances where my ego has conceived out of an evil spirit of self-importance that it is my superior and for that reason assumes the powers of a tyrant, encouraging scandalous divisions in myself and my relationships. Meditation teaches me my true source and superior.

Chapter 64: The election of an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 3-4)

They should not be trouble-makers nor given to excessive anxiety nor should they be too demanding and obstinate, nor yet interfering and inclined to suspicion so as never to be at rest. (From para. 4 of Ch. 64 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Benedict allows me to be a little anxious and demanding and obstinate, but only because I am still learning to rest in the Lord. But, it's from that point of rest that I can be most present and respond most appropriately.

Chapter 64: The election of an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 1-2)

The grounds on which a candidate is elected abbot or abbess must be the quality of their monastic life and the wisdom of their teaching, even if they are the last in order in the community. (From para. 1 of Ch. 64 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Here again, St Benedict directs me away from a judging mindset, and towards the heart of another. In the same way, meditation teaches me to discern that of God within.

Chapter 63: Community order (paragraphs 2-3)

In that way they will conform to scripture which says they should try to be the first to show respect for each other. (From para. 3 of Ch. 63 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

It seems to me wonderfully true, that life-giving order emerges out of everyone being the first  -- the first to show kindness to the other.

Chapter 63: Community order (paragraph 1)

So, apart from those whom the superior has promoted for a more cogent reason or demoted for specific faults, all the others retain the order of their conversion to monastic life so exactly that one who arrived at the monastery door at the second hour must accept a place junior to another who came an hour earlier, whatever their age or former rank may have been. (From para. 1 of Ch. 62 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict helps me to realize my moment of conversion -- my entry into an inward"re-ordering" as a new creation in Christ -- as a faithful movement away from self-centeredness, and towards Christian community.

Chapter 62: The priests of the monastery

When ordained a monk must be careful to avoid a spirit of self-importance or pride and he must avoid taking on himself any duties to which the abbot has not assigned him. (From para. 1 of Ch. 62 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

My ego likes to make me feel important and indispensable, but what's essential is discernment -- a rootedness in my relationship to God.

Chapter 61: Monastic pilgrims from far away (paragraphs 2-3)

But if no such negative signs are apparent it may be right to go further and not wait for a request to be accepted in the community. It may even be right to persuade such a one to stay so that others may benefit and learn from such example. (From para. 2 of Ch. 61 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, community means understanding that God has brought me together with others. Although these relationships may, at times, be frustrating or baffling to me, God is among us, in the potential for authentic relationships. And even if those relationships should fail, God is still always present in the potential for finding the redemptive value of experience.

Chapter 61: Monastic pilgrims from far away (paragraphs 1-2)

It may happen, of course, that one of them may find something to point out in criticism about the customs of the monastery, using sound arguments in a spirit of charitable deference. In that case the superior should consider the whole question with care and prudence in case it was for this very purpose that the pilgrim was sent by the Lord. (From para. 1 of Ch. 61 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Pilgrims come into my life, sometimes bringing conflict, affection, or other dynamics. And I am a pilgrim in theirs. In God's own time, our relationships have the potential to spark personal transformation.

Chapter 60: The admission of priests into the monastery

An ordained priest who asks to be received into the monastery should not be accepted too quickly. If, however, he shows real perseverance in his request, he must understand that, if accepted, he will be bound to observe the full discipline of the Rule and may expect no relaxations. (From para. 1 of Ch. 60 Of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

My ego wants to set me above and apart; the Spirit wants to set me down to serve.

Chapter 59: Children offered by nobles of by the poor

Everything concerned with this property should be negotiated in such a way that not the slightest hint of personal expectations can be entertained by the child in a way which could lead through deception to ruin. (From para. 2 of Ch. 59 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict, and John Main, both urge me to relate purely and freely to the material world, with detachment, so that I may find my true source of belonging in God. 

Chapter 58: The reception of candidates for the community (paragraphs 4-5)

When the decision is made that novices are to be accepted, then they come before the whole community in the oratory to make solemn promise of stability, fidelity to monastic life and obedience. (From para. 4 of Ch. 58 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict teaches me that the monk is one who seeks God. Through meditation I've come to appreciate the wisdom of the Rule, that this inward seeking also creates community. The solemn promises Benedict names apply to to the totality of my journey inward and outward. Somehow, in this knitting together of the inward and the outward, the monastery without walls is formed.

Chapter 58: The reception of candidates for the community (paragraphs 1-3)

The entry of postulants into the monastic life should not be made too easy, but we should follow St John's precept to make trial of the spirits to see if they are from God. (From para. 1 of Ch. 58 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The trials of my spirit, of my faith, are often those self-generated trials of my own obsessions, fears, fantasies, sense of isolation. I must not give up on my pilgrimage of meditation, so that I may be led to realize the waywardness of the ego as well as the resources of love.

Chapter 57: Members of the community with creative gifts

If there are any in the community with creative gifts, they should use them in their workshops with proper humility, provided that the have the permission of the superior. (From para. 1 of Ch. 57 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The term "being creative" often connotes some kind of rare gift of personal artistic expression, and so creativity becomes linked with the ego. In fact, I've found that the ego impedes my creative gifts. The best model for me of creativity is meditation.

Chapter 56: The table for the superior and community guests

The superior's table should always be with the guests and pilgrims. (From Ch. 56 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

If I honor someone else, it could be because I hope to catch some reflected glory. Or, I can honor someone with humility, and with the deepest respect for their mystery. The more I plumb in prayer the mystery of my own existence, the more I can wonder at the mystery of another.

Chapter 55: Clothing and footwear for the community (paragraphs 3-5)

The superior ought to inspect the beds at regular intervals to see that private possessions are not being hoarded there. (From  para. 3 of Ch. 55 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Hoarding is a function of my ego, and my ego hoards more than things. Fidelity to the mantra allows the Spirit to inspect my soul, and this simplifies me.

Chapter 55: Clothing and footwear for the community (paragraphs 1-2)

The community must not be too sensitive about the colour and quality of this clothing; they should be content with what is available in the locality at a reasonable cost. However the superior should see to it that the garments are not short and ill-fitting but appropriate to the size and build of those who wear them. (From para. 1 of Chap. 55 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Being content with what is reasonably available, and yet also appropriate to size and build. It seems to me that Benedict counsels against a preoccupation with clothing and the false identity that can come with it. But he also counsels for clothing that dignifies the True Self in every size of person.

Chapter 54: The reception of letters and gifts in the monastery

Then it will be for the superior, after agreeing to the reception of the gift, to decide who in the community should receive the gift and, if it is not the one to whom it was sent, that should not give rise to recriminations lest the devil be given an opportunity. (From Ch. 54 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

A generosity of spirit, an attention to my true needs and those of others, a detachment from using things to control others, and from being controlled by things myself: All of this is a liberating message to me in a season of commercial chaos.

Chapter 53: The reception of guests (paragraphs 1-4)

The greatest care should be taken to give a warm reception to the poor and to pilgrims, because it is in them above all others that Christ is welcomed. (From para. 4 of Ch. 53 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

"The poor and the pilgrims" represent for me a lack of pretense, a way of being that is more transparent. Freed of being encumbered, the heart can shine out.

Chapter 52: The oratory of the monastery

The oratory must be simply a place of prayer, as the name itself implies, and it must not be used for any other activities at all nor as a place for storage of any kind. (From Ch. 52 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The mantra is like a broom that sweeps away the clutter of my inner space. This broom clears the way for poverty, a path of dispossession, that will lead to purity of heart. The mantra takes me deeper and deeper, eliminating the psychological baggage that can pile up, allowing me to move closer to my source.

Chapter 51: Those on local errands or work

Any who are sent on an errand which will allow them to return to the monastery on the same day must not eat outside, in spite of pressing invitations whatever their source, unless the superior has approved this. (From Ch. 51 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In the midst of many pressures and temptations which would take me off course, I thank God for allowing me to return to the discipline of meditation.

Chapter 50: Those whose work takes them away from the monastery

Those whose work takes them some distance from the monastery so that they cannot manage to get to the oratory at the right times for prayer must kneel with profound reverence for the Lord and perform the work of God at their place of work. (From para. 1 of Ch. 50 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, St Benedict's call to faithfulness in doing the work of God, echoes Fr John's teaching that the only progress in meditation is in growing fidelity to the practice. I think that in this faithfulness, the gap between "times of prayer" and daily life closes, and that a fruit of this fidelity might be continuous prayer.

Chapter 49: How Lent should be observed in the monastery

Therefore we urge that all in the monastery during these holy days of Lent should look carefully at the integrity of their lives and get rid in this holy season of any thoughtless compromises which may have crept in at other times. (From para. 1 of Ch. 49 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

My ego can creep into absolutely anything, and it can creep fast if it thinks it's going to be gratified. My practice of meditation is a timeless corrective to thoughtless compromise.

Chapter 48:  Daily manual labor (paragraphs 6-7)

The superior should show understanding concern for their limitations. (From para. 7 of Ch. 48 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Having understanding concern for the limitations of others, say, in something as ordinary as housekeeping, or in something as significant as matters of the heart -- I must handle with the help of the Spirit, so that I don't project my own limitations, or interfere with the liberty of spirit that can redeem us all.

Chapter 48: Daily manual labor (paragraphs 3-5)

As a special provision during these days of Lent each member of the community is to be given a book from the library to read thoroughly each day in a regular and conscientious way. (From para. 4 of Ch. 48 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, a discipline such as daily reading from only one book in a thorough, regular and conscientious way, would be a form of fasting from trivia and distraction, from dipping in and out of all forms of media, from surfing the web. I'm not sure it would even be a very realistic goal for me in the twenty-first century. But I can take to heart Benedict's instructions about of guarding my attention.

Chapter 48: Daily manual labor (paragraphs 1-2)

Idleness is the enemy of the soul. Therefore all the community must be occupied at definite times in manual labour and at other times in lectio divina. (From para. 1 of Chap. 48 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Don't waste my time on trivial things. Allow time to be holy, allow a wholesome rhythm to my life. Choose where to place my attention. At every moment.

Chapter 47: Signalling the times for the work of God

The superior is personally responsible for making sure that the time for the work of God, both at night at during the daytime, is clearly made known to all. (From para. 1 of Ch. 47 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St Benedict challenges me to make clear to others the priority of the times for meditation in my life, especially when it means I have to resist the prevailing expectations of me. Or, I need to be clear with myself when I have to resist my own rationalizations about skipping meditation.

Chapter 46: Faults committed elsewhere

Any member of the community who in the course of some work in the kitchen, in the stores, while fulfilling a service to others or in the bakery, the garden or the workshops or anywhere else does something wrong or happens to break or lose something or to be guilty of some other wrongdoing, must as soon as possible appear before the superior and the community with a voluntary admission of the failure and willing reparation for it. (From para. 1 of Ch. 46 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, this passage poses an examination of conscience: do I allow every task, every moment, every relationship to be an opportunity to work with love and gratitude?  Does I allow my work to mediate Christ's love for me, no matter how small the work seems? Am I alert to the difference it makes to my consciousness, and to those around me?

Chapter 45: Mistakes in the Oratory

Anyone who makes a mistake in a psalm, responsory, antiphon or reading must have the humility to make immediate reparation there before all the community in the oratory. A failure to do that so clearly shows lack of the humility to put right a fault which was due to carelessness that it must incur a more severe punishment. (From Ch. 45 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I think about how my distracted state of mind  -- a lack of presence -- interferes with meditation, or other work I do.  But am I alert to how my distracted state of mind diminishes relationship, diminishes community?

Chapter 44: The reconciliation of those excommunicated

They should in complete silence simply lay their heads on the ground before the feet of all the community coming out of the oratory and stay there until the superior judges that they have done enough in reparation. (From para. 1 of Ch. 44 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

What is "enough in reparation"? Something requiring silence and humility, according to Benedict. Silence and humility are the pathways to the heart, where right relationship with oneself, with God, with others, can begin to be restored.

Chapter 43: Late-comers for the work of God or in the refectory (paragraphs 4-5)

In the refectory all must come to table together so as to offer their grace together as one community. (From para. 4 of Ch. 43 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

"Saying grace" is not just a set of words addressed to God, but that spirit of oneness that animates a community.

Chapter 43: Late-comers for the work of God or in the refectory (paragraphs 1-3)

When the time comes for one of the Divine offices to begin, as soon as the signal is heard, everyone must set aside whatever they may have in hand and hurry as fast as possible to the oratory, but of course they should do so in a dignified way which avoids giving rise to any boisterous behaviour. The essential point is that nothing should be accounted more important that the work of God. (From para. 1 of Ch. 43 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Fr John's teaching about fidelity to twice-daily meditation is exactly the same. He reminds that for this "work of God", the time of meditation is not even my own.

Chapter 42: The great silence after Compline

Silence should be sought at all times by monks and nuns and this is especially important for them at night time. (From para. 1 of Ch. 42 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

As I prepare to fall asleep at night, I rarely think about what trust it takes to allow myself to fall into sleep. Just as when I prepare to meditate, I rarely think about what trust it takes to let go of habits of mind. But Benedict helps me to see that silence may be bringing me closer to my natural condition of trust.

Chapter 41: The times for community meals

The principle is that the superior should manage everything so prudently that the saving work of grace may be accomplished in the community and whatever duties the community undertakes they may be carried out without any excuse for murmuring. (From para. 1 of Ch. 41 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Prudent management allows the saving work of grace to happen. To me, this means that prudent management emerges out of an inner stillness that is attuned to love.

Chapter 40: The proper amount of drink to be provided

St Paul says that each of us has a special gift from God, one kind for one of us and quite a different one for another. That reflection makes me reluctant to decide on the measure of  food and drink for others.  [. . . ] 

It may be that local circumstances may make it impossible to provide he amount of wine we have suggested above so that there may be much less available or even none at all. Those who live in such a locality should praise God and avoid any murmuring. Above all else I urge that there should be no murmuring in the community. (From paras. 1 and 3 of Ch. 40 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Between acknowledging both legitimate need and the dangers of drink, St Benedict navigates a path of moderation. In fact, his two greatest concerns seem to me to be about self-understanding (realizing our gifts from God, such as self-control), and the corrosive quality to the community of murmuring. Underneath all of this, I see the importance of right relationship, to the Ground of our Being, and to our brothers and sisters.

Chapter 39: The amount of food to be made available

We must always be careful, however, to avoid excessive eating which might also cause indigestion. Nothing so so opposed to Christian values as overeating, as we can see from the words of our Lord: take care that your hearts are not weighed down by overeating. (From para. 2 of Ch. 39 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

"Nothing is so opposed to Christian values as overeating" -- this might be hyperbole on Benedict's part, but I've come to think not. My body must be relaxed and alert for the integrative prayer of meditation.

Chapter 38: The weekly reader

During meals there should be complete silence disturbed by no whispering nor should anyone's voice be heard except the reader's. Everyone in the community should be attentive to the needs of their neighbours as they eat and drink so that there should be no need for anyone to ask for what they require. (From para. 2 of Ch. 38 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I ponder Benedict's instruction to be totally open to the words of the reader, while at the same time being aware of the needs of others. Divided attention? I don't think so. Rather, selfless attention. The spirit of love. It seems to me that selfless attention can harmonize conditions that otherwise might fragment my awareness.

Chapter 37: Care for the elderly and the young

Human nature itself is drawn to tender concern for those in the two extremes of age and youth, but the authority of the Rule should reinforce this natural instinct. (From Ch. 37 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Do I allow my natural instinct for tender concern for age and youth to overcome my preoccupations with myself? Am I clear that cultural preoccupations with individual agency, power, even celebrity, can be dangerously powerful? Listening to the mantra is countercultural, and has helped me become more alert to the call of frailty.

Chapter 36: The care of the sick in the monastery

The care of those who are sick in the community is an absolute priority, which must rank before every other requirement, so that there may be no doubt that it is Christ who is truly served in them. (From para. 1 of Ch. 36 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

What is the relationship between those who are sick and Christ, that St Benedict so clearly draws? I have watched with those near death, and seen the body as if it were gradually being consumed by or radiating the spirit. The experience of sickness, weakness, and other infirmities must bring each of us closer to who we really are, and to witness this for others.

Chapter 35:  Weekly servers in the kitchen and at table (paragraphs 3-4)

One hour before the time of a meal those serving in the kitchen and at table should each receive a drink and some bread in addition to their regular portion. This will help them to serve the community at mealtime without stress and without murmuring about their lot. (From para. 3 of Ch. 35 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Can my kindness help others in my community to serve? Can I check my own judgmental and complaining behavior, however subtle, that harms the spirit of the community I serve?

Chapter 35: Weekly servers in the kitchen and at table (paragraphs 1-2)

Everyone in the community should take turns serving in the kitchen and at table. None should be exonerated from kitchen duty except in the case of sickness or the call of some important business for the monastery, because serving each other in this way has the great merit of fostering charity. (From para. 1 of Ch. 35 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I know that common meals can be a sacrament of community. St Benedict is reminding me that the small sacrifice of helping in the kitchen during mealtimes is also an occasion of grace.

Chapter 34: Fair provision for the needs of all

This principle from scripture should be established in the monastery, namely that distribution was made to each in accordance with their needs. This, however, should not be taken to mean that favouritism of individuals can be tolerated; far from it. It should simply be a way of showing proper consideration for needs arising from individual weakness. (From Ch. 34 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Distributing goods according to needs, showing proper consideration for needs arising from individual weakness. I hear St Benedict talking about discernment, that is, looking at situations with selfless attention, and so knowing what to do.

Chapter 33: Personal possessions in the monastery

It is vitally important to cut out by the roots from the monastery the bad practice of anyone in the community giving away anything or accepting any gift for themselves, as if it were their own personal property, without the permission of the superior. (From Ch. 33 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St Benedict reminds me that everything I think of as "mine" is only on loan to me, and that I must learn to consider the common welfare in relation to my acquisitive habits. Fr John reminds me that even meditation is not "my" meditation. This must be how meditation creates community.

Chapter 32: The tools and property of the monastery

Anyone who is negligent in dealing with the monastery property or allows it to deteriorate must be corrected with a view to improvement. (From para. 2 of Ch. 32 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict is reminding me that even household goods are shot through with grace. I'm in danger of overlooking this, and the role of goods in the life of the community, unless I care for everything as if it is of the Kingdom.

Chapter 31: The qualities required by the cellarer (paragraphs 2-3)

Among the most important qualities the cellarer needs to cultivate is humility and the ability to give a pleasant answer even when a request must be refused. Remember how scripture says that a kindly word is of greater value that a gift, however precious. (From para. 2 of Ch. 31 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict teaches me that the spirit of service is kindness. Kindness I recognize as a fruit of the Spirit, a fruit of meditation. Kindness directs the hearts of giver and receiver into right relationship.

Chapter 31: The qualities required by the cellarer (paragraph 1)

To qualify for this choice a candidate should be wise and mature in behaviour, sober and not an excessive eater, not proud nor apt to give offence nor inclined to cause trouble, not unpunctual, nor wasteful but living in the fear of God and ready to show the community all the love a father or mother would show to their family. (From para. 1 of Ch. 31 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Living in the awareness of God, loving selflessly, looking after the community with the care of a parent -- I think such qualities make St. Benedict's descriptions of the cellarer the model of one who gives service. What is the transformation of the ego about, except to learn to serve?

Chapter 30: The correction of young children

There is a proper way of dealing with every age and every degree of understanding, and we should find the right way of dealing with the young. (From Ch. 30 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

What should be my response be to someone in whom I perceive an immaturity? I think it should be the kind of response that I would hope for, when someone perceived an immaturity in me. Firmness, if necessary, but also gentleness, acceptance, humble attention.

Chapter 29: The readmission of any who leave the monastery

Anyone who is guilty of serious wrong by the personal decision to leave the monastery but then asks to be received back again must first of all promise full reparation for leaving the monastery. (From Ch. 29 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I'm intrigued by what "full reparation" might mean. Each situation calls for its own discernment. But in general, I think full reparation includes forgiving myself for my mistakes, opening to the transformative power of God that allows me to begin again, and repairing any harm I have done to relationships.

Chapter 28: The treatment of those who relapse

If even such prayer does not bring healing, the superior must turn to the knife of amputation, following the guidance of St Paul, who told the Corinthians to banish the evil from their midst, and again he said: if the unfaithful one wishes to go, let him go, lest one diseased sheep corrupt the whole flock. (From para. 2 of Ch. 28 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I must learn ever more deeply that not all relationships can be saved, but that every experience can be redemptive.

Chapter 27: The superior's care for the excommunicated

Therefore the superior should use every curative skill as a wise doctor does, for instance by sending in senpectae, that is, mature and wise senior members of the community who may discreetly bring counsel to one who is in a state of uncertainty and confusion; their task will be to show the sinner the way to humble reconciliation and also to bring consolation, as St Paul also urges, to one in danger of being overwhelmed by excessive sorrow and in need of the reaffirmation of love which everyone in the community must achieve through prayer. (From Ch. 27 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St Benedict points out how the senpectae, the mature and wise senior members of the community, can be guides to one from suffering from uncertainty and confusion. They show the way to humble reconciliation, and they bring consolation. I thank God for the redemptive power of relationships in my own life, and pray that I may live in a way that finds the redemptive power of circumstances.

Chapter 26: Unlawful association with the excommunicated

If any member of the community presumes without the permission of the abbot or abbess to associate in any way with or speak to or give instructions to one who has been excommunicated then that person should receive exactly the same punishment of excommunication. (Ch. 26 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Benedict is warning me against myself and my own "good intentions". He reminds me that what I think is good for another may be based on my own self-importance or desire to control, and my thinking that I know how to live another's life better than he or she does. Benedict wants to preserve conditions that make it possible for those who have separated themselves from the community, to have the solitude and the stillness to hear the Inner Teacher.

Chapter 25: Punishment for more serious faults

None of the community should associate with or talk to the guilty person, who is to persevere alone in sorrow and penance in whatever work has been allotted, remembering St Paul's fearful judgement when he wrote to the Corinthians that such a one should be handed over for the destruction of the flesh so that the spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord. (From Ch. 25 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Contemplative silence is a way of purification, of simply learning to be more present to my true self, and so to others, in God.

Chapter 24: Different degrees of severity in punishment

The severity of excommunication or any other punishment should correspond to the gravity of the fault committed, and it is for the superior to decide about the seriousness of faults. (From Ch. 24 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I take to heart Benedict's admonition that if I must correct the behavior of another, I should do so with a spirit of fairness and appropriateness. This means, especially, not using the situation as an opportunity for my ego to assert itself.

Chapter 23: Faults which deserve excommunication

If an individual in the community is defiant, disobedient, proud or given to murmuring or in any other way set in opposition to the holy Rule and contemptuous of traditions of the seniors, then we should follow the precept of our Lord. (From Ch. 23 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

By looking at the problems St Benedict identifies (defiance, disobedience, pride, murmuring, opposition, contempt) I can see that the greatest faults I can commit in community are qualities that undermine relationship. I contribute to the well-being of community when I can relate to others from a place of inner peace and harmony.

Chapter 22: Sleeping arrangements for the community

In the morning, as they are getting up for the work of God, they should quietly give encouragement to those who are sleepy and given to making excuses for being late. (From para. 2 of Ch. 22 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Reading this passage I feel the tenderness of a supportive community. I can be vulnerable (though sleepiness or weakness), and my brother or sister who is more awake (in one way or another) can affirm my belonging and potential for growth.

Chapter 21: The deans of the monastery

[Deans] must be selected for their suitability in character and gifts so the abbot or abbess may, without anxiety, share some responsibilities with them. For that reason they should not be chosen simply because of their order in the community but because of their upright lives and the wisdom of their teaching. (From Ch. 21 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Benedict teaches me that discernment in delegation is an important aspect of community life. If I'm the person of responsibility in a situation, delegation may relieve me of overwork, but more importantly, it allows others to participate and grow in our mutual life. And for me, delegation may also save me from the ego-delusion of being "indispensable".

Chapter 20: The ideal of true reverence in prayer

When we come, then, with our requests in prayer before the Lord, who is God of all creation, is it not all the more important that we should approach him in a spirit of real humility and a devotion that is open to him alone and free from distracting thoughts? We really must  be quite clear that our prayer will be heard, not because of the eloquence and length of all we have to say, but because of the heartfelt repentance and openness of our hearts to the Lord whom we approach. (From Ch. 20 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Meditation teaches me to turn from intention to attention.

Chapter 19: Our approach to prayer

All of us, then, should reflect seriously on how to appear before the majesty of God in the presence of his angels. That will lead us to make sure that, when we sing in choir, there is complete harmony between the thoughts in our mind and the meaning of the words we sing. (From Ch. 19 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB,, 1997.)

An approach to prayer that demands complete harmony -- or, as I learn through meditation, an ever greater integration of the totality of my being in the heart.

Chapter 18: The order for reciting the psalms (paragraphs 4-6)

After all, we read that our holy Fathers had the energy to fulfil in one single day what we in our lukewarm devotion only aspire to complete in a whole week. (From para. 6 of Ch. 18 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The fire of the living God can energize even my lukewarm devotion, if I am willing to be in its presence.

Chapter 18: The order for reciting the psalms (paragraph 3)

These same psalms are repeated daily until Sunday and the identical arrangement of hymns, lessons and verses is retained everyday. (From para. 3 of Ch. 18 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

It seems to me that a spirit of fidelity to practice pervades Benedict's sense of order -- just as it pervades the tradition of the mantra as taught by John Main.

Chapter 18: The order for reciting the psalms (paragraphs 1-2)

Each hour begins with the following verse: O God come to my assistance, O Lord make haste to help me. (From para. 1 of Ch. 18 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

My heart so deeply resonates with the exact same verse that Cassian recommends for continuous prayer, and that Benedict recommends to begin each monastic hour.  Maranatha, come Lord Jesus!

Chapter 17: The number of psalms to be sung at the hours

We have already set out the order of the psalms for Vigils and for Lauds. Now let us look at the order of the psalms for the rest of the Hours. (From para. 1 of Ch. 17 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Benedict's instructions about ordering the psalms for the hours, like the disciplined repetition of the mantra, teach me about fidelity, that God is always with me, that Jesus is praying in me, and that I am called to join him in silence, in the medium of love flowing between him and the Father.

Chapter 16: The hours of the work of God during the day

The words of the psalm are: I have uttered your praises seven times during the day. We shall fulfil that sacred number of seven if at the times of Lauds, Prime, Terce, Sext, None, Vespers and Compline we perform the duty of our service to God, because it was of these day hours that the psalm said: I have uttered your praise seven times during the day. (From Ch. 16 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

How do I keep time holy as a householder? Twice-daily meditation establishes a rhythm in my life. Between these two times of meditation I find a greater ability to relate well, to make better and freer choices, and to move, ever so slightly, toward offering a selfless attention.

Chapter 15: When the Alleluia should be said

From the holy feast of Easter until Pentecost the Alleluia must always be said in the psalms and the responsories. From Pentecost until the beginning of Lent it is said only with the last six psalms in the night office. On every Sunday outside Lent, however, the Alleluia is included in Lauds, Prime, Terce, Sext and None, but at Vespers an antiphon is intoned instead. The Alleluia is never added to the responsories except from Easter to Pentecost. (Ch. 15 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Benedict seems careful to include the Alleluia throughout all the times of the year, except, of course, for Lent. Alleluia, for me, is an utterance of joy, a prayer that can take my whole being to say. Like the mantra, the saying can lead me ever closer to continuous prayer.

Chapter 14: The celebration of Vigils on feasts of saints

On the feasts of saints and on all other solemnities Vigils should follow the order laid down for the celebration of Sunday except that the psalms, antiphons and readings that are appropriate to the day should be recited; the order of the liturgy itself remains the same as that described for Sunday. (Ch. 14 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Benedict dignifies the feasts of saints as solemnities, but for me any saint's day -- any day -- can remind me what I have experienced through meditation -- that the "communion of saints" is not theoretical, but real, and is right now, within us and among us, a limitless, joyful, cosmic community of being.

Chapter 13: Lauds on ordinary days (paragraph 2)

It is important that the celebration of Lauds and Vespers should never be concluded without the recitation by the superior of the whole of the Lord's prayer so that all may hear and attend to it. This is because of the harm that is often done in a community by the thorns of conflict which can arise. Bound by the very word of that prayer 'forgive us as we also forgive' they will be cleansed from the stain of such evil. (From para. 2 of Ch. 13 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Seeing another's point of view, compassion, selflessness -- these, for me, are some of the rigorous components of forgiveness. Forgiveness is made especially hard when the weaknesses of my own ego still want to wreak havoc in a situation. I also have more to learn about setting healthy boundaries in problematic relationships. But in both situations, mediation diminishes my self-centeredness and prepares the way for me to live in an authentic harmony with others.

Chapter 13: Lauds on ordinary days (paragraph 1)

On ordinary days Lauds should be celebrated like this: the sixty sixth psalm should be said with its antiphon but rather slowly, as on Sunday, to make sure that all are present for the fiftieth psalm which is said with its antiphon. (From para. 1 of Ch. 13 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Rather slowly -- those are the words I respond to here. "Run while you have the light of life!" is one of Benedict's admonitions. Yet he also understands that those of us who would be ardent are often simply absent. I so often take my time to get ready and I run late. And yet, all of this experience can be blessed, too, if I remember what Fr. John teaches, that the purpose of time is to learn patience --with myself and with others. To truly learn patience paradoxically dissolves the concept of time, I believe, so that I could always live ready, always at one, always in the moment.

Chapter 12: The celebration of solemn Lauds

Then come the hundred and seventeenth psalm and the sixty second followed by the Benedicite and Laudate psalms, a reading from the book of the Apocalypse recited by heart, the responsory, an Ambrosian hymn, a versicle, the Benedictus, litany and conclusion. (From Ch. 12 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Time and again I find Benedict telling his monks to recite prayers or whole readings from the Bible as part of saying the daily hours. Or, telling them to recite from heart if they are out in the fields and unable to come to the oratory. What is it that I can recite from heart?  I must take to heart that memorizing sacred text is the right use of my mind, and a shield against trivial distractions, as is saying the mantra.

Chapter 11: Vigils or night office on Sunday

In these Vigils the arrangement should be that six psalms and a verse should be chanted, as described above, and then, when everyone has sat down in an orderly way on the benches, four lessons should be read from the book on the lectern with their responsories. (From Ch. 11 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I'm touched by St Benedict's observation that there should be a pause until every has sat down in an orderly way on the benches. He also observes twice at other points that all should rise as a sign of profound reverence. Benedict takes the trouble to consider the body at prayer, its orderliness -- being "gathered" as an individual and within the community, and the power of posture to produce praise. This "gathering" means much to me as I sit to meditate, as I prepare my body to find integration in my heart. And, also, in ending meditation with a deep bow, putting my head below my heart -- to teach me reverence and right order.

Chapter 10: The night office in summertime

Apart from that the arrangements for winter are followed exactly so that never less than twelve psalms should be recited at Vigils, not counting the third and ninety fourth psalms. (From Ch. 10 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Starting with the night office -- the prayer that Benedict's monks arose for to begin their day -- Benedict establishes a vibrant rhythm, moving like a river of praise with a well-defined course. It seems to me, this repetition, like the repetition of the mantra, is the practice of obedience, fidelity, and immersion in the Other.

Chapter 9: The number of psalms at the night office

During this winter season the office of vigils begins with this verse recited three times; Lord, open my lips and my mouth will declare your praise. (From Ch. 9 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

And so begins Benedict on the ordering of psalms, prayers, readings, hymns, for the night Vigils. I am reminded of the ordering of my being by the mantra -- not a technique for self-improvement, but a faithful discipline.

Chapter 8: The Divine Office at Night

It seems reasonable that during wintertime, that is from the first of November until Easter all should arise at the eighth hour of the night. By that time, having rested until a little after midnight, they may rise with their food well digested. (From Ch. 8 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Regular habits of sleeping and eating, even arising with my food well digested -- St. Benedict reminds me that the ways of seeking God include care and attention to my body. Christian meditation is the most incarnational form of prayer there is -- one of total integration of my entire being in my heart, and this absolutely includes my physical being.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 19-20)

The humility of their hearts should be apparent by their bodily movements to all who see them. [...] Good habit and delight in virtue will carry us along. (From paras. 19-20 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Just as stillness is a sacrament of presence, so is movement an emanation of the quality of my heart. What happens when I stop hurrying, or pay attention to the task in my hands, or take time to embrace another in greeting? What happens when I look upon "physical fitness" as a fitness to be ready to serve? Good habit, primarily the practice of meditation, integrates my heart and body, and carries me along.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 17)

The tenth step of humility teaches that we should not be given to empty laughter on every least occasion because: a fool's voice is for ever raised in laughter. (Para. 17 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The adjectives here are important: "empty" laughter, and "every least" occasion. There's nothing wrong with laughter, but like any other authentic expression I strive for, my laughter should be full of heart, integral with myself, and appropriate, otherwise it's just noise.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 18)

We should speak gently and seriously with words that are weighty and restrained. We should be brief and reasonable in whatever we have to say and not raise our voices to insist on our own opinions. (From para. 18 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For some odd and delightful reason, Benedict's words are reading to me right now as advice for quietly approaching a nest of birds, or a very shy wild animal. Perhaps he's saying that my approach to life should be alert and respectful and self-controlled, so as not to scare away the possibility of relationship.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 16)

The ninth step of humility leads us to refrain from unnecessary speech and to guard our silence by not speaking until we are addressed. (From para. 16 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The meaning of unnecessary speech has come to include for me, the wishing, chattering, complaining and repetitive monologue of my mind. What is it like for to me to move through my day with a respectful interior silence, and open attention, listening to creation?

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 15)

The eighth step of humility teaches us to do nothing which goes beyond what is approved and encouraged by the common rule of the monastery and the example of our seniors. (Para. 8 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Is St. Benedict discouraging personal initiative?  As I consider Benedict's teaching, I realize that such discouragement is not the point. Benedict is teaching me to consider my respect of tradition and the guidance of elders. This kind of respect and guidance may teach my heart to be selfless -- selfless enough to embrace the community (and all of creation), and not just look out for myself.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 14)

I was raised up high in honour, but then I was humbled and overwhelmed with confusion. In the end we may learn to say: it was good for me, Lord, that you humbled me so that I might learn your precepts. (From para. 14 of Ch.7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I'm reassured that confusion, even suffering and grief, can be opportunities for growth. Meditation has taught me that even the challenges of fidelity to the mantra can be part of a cleansing process which helps me to recognize a reality greater than the projections of my ego.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 13)

The sixth step of humility for monks or nuns is to accept without complaint really wretched and inadequate conditions so that when faced with a task of any kind they would think of themselves as poor workers not worthy of consideration and repeat to God the verse of the psalm: I am of no account and lack understanding, no better than a beast in your sight. Yet I am always in your presence. (Para. 13 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The sixth step of humility teaches me to allow meditation to burn away selfish concern, to sharpen my vision of reality, and to realize that the Other is with me.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 12)

The fifth step of humility is that we should not cover up but humbly confess to our superior or spiritual guide whatever evil thoughts come into our minds and the evil deeds we have done in secret. (From para. 12 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This is a step of humility that tells me that I shouldn't allow myself to dwell in deceit and rationalization, but, rather, that I should allow the practice of meditation to cultivate in me an honesty with myself and others.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 10-11)

The fourth step of humility is to go even further than this by readily accepting in patient and silent endurance, without thought of giving up or avoiding the issue, any hard and demanding things that may come our way in the course of that obedience, even if they include harsh impositions which are unjust. (From para. 10 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I can't accept that this means I should allow myself to become prey to another person's malevolent ego. But the central teaching that I see in Benedict's words is that I remain faithful to the "course of obedience" --  that I pierce through my own illusions and desire to control, that I grasp what is, that I know that I am lovable because I am loved by God, and that together we can forge diamonds from what is rough.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 9)

The third step of humility is to submit oneself out of love of God to whatever obedience under a superior may require of us; it is the example of he Lord himself that we follow in this way, as we know from St Paul's words: he was made obedient even unto death. (Para. 9 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Obedience means to listen deeply to another, with selfless attention; it's an ascesis that can cut through the ego. In this way, perhaps, the essential goodness at the core of my being, may respond to the essential goodness at the core of another's being.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 8)

The second step of humility is not to love having our own way nor to delight in our own desires. Instead we should take as our model for imitation the Lord himself when he says: I have come not to indulge my own desires but to do the will of him who sent me. (From para. 8 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Acknowledging that I do love to have my own way creates a tiny space in which I can begin to let go of judgment about this aspect of the human condition. Then, there is room for a transformative moment in which I begin to see life through the eyes of the other/the Other.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 7)

As to pursuing our own will we are warned against that when scripture says to us: turn away from your own desires and in the Lord's prayer itself we pray that his will may be brought to fulfilment in us. (From para. 6 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 6)

As to pursuing our own will we are warned against that when scripture says to us: turn away from your own desires and in the Lord's prayer itself we pray that his will may be brought to fulfilment in us. (From para. 6 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Pursuing my own will, my own desires -- what am I really being warned against? Is my will or desire necessarily bad? I think that Benedict is asking me to look to the root. If the root of my will or desire is in my ego, then what grows from that may very well be just be a larger ego. If the root of my will or desire is in God's "will" -- which I would be more inclined to call God's "nature" or God's "love" -- then what grows from that is a deeper and more loving human nature.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 5)

One who follows that way [of turning to God] finds protection at all times from sin and vice of thought, of tongue, of hand, of foot, of self-will and of disordered sensual desire, so as to lead a life that is completely open before the scrutiny of God and of his angels who watch over us from hour to hour. (From para. 5 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

If I'm alert to the presence of God, I can find protection there. In this loving relationship, I begin to question my need to live in denial, evasion, indulgence. What an incomprehensible message to my ego! But Benedict assures me that the practice of presence of God puts me in touch with my life-source, and will bring me to purity of heart.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraph 4)

The first step of humility is to cherish at all times the sense of awe with which we should turn to God. It should drive forgetfulness away...  (From para. 4 of Ch. 7 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Previously when I've read this passage, I've been drawn to Benedict's words about "the sense of awe... [which] should drive forgetfulness away" -- such an encouraging description, for me, of the practice of setting the mantra free in my heart. But today the word that calls out is cherish -- an experience of intimacy. To me it seems that the first step of humility involves a relationship, an experience of life-giving intimacy with God.

Chapter 7: The value of humility (paragraphs 1-3)

It is just such an exchange that we need to establish in our own lives, but with this difference for us: our proud attempts at upward climbing will really bring us down, whereas to step downwards in humility is the way to lift our spirit up towards God. (From para. 1 of Ch. 7 of St. Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This is a workout for my ego -- not one that strengthens it, but one that would soften it. A blow to my pride, or a step up from my own self preoccupations, create conditions for me to move beyond my limitations, to find my true place in the Spirit.

Chapter 6: Cherishing silence in the monastery

In a monastery we ought to follow the advice of the psalm which says: I have resolved to keep watch over my ways so that I may not sin with my tongue. I am guarded about the way I speak and have accepted silence in humility refraining even from words that are good. In this verse the psalmist shows that, because of the value of silence, there are times when it is best not to speak even though what we have in mind is good. (From para. 1 of Ch.  6 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In my experience, words can so erupt so quickly from a defensive ego, creating a cycle of more and more defensive posturing. Perhaps, the loving gaze of silence can melt the ego, and accomplish much more good.

Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraph 4)

We should remember, however, that such obedience will be acceptable to God and rewarding to us, if we carry out the orders given us in a way that is not fearful, nor slow, nor half-hearted, nor marred by murmuring or the sort of compliance that betrays resentment. (From para. 4 of Ch. 5 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, Benedict paints another picture of obedience as radical freedom. A response borne of selfless love is not dragged down nor deadened by ego. Such obedience is a pure expression of liberty of spirit.

Chapter 5: Monastic obedience (paragraphs 1-3)

The first step on the way to humility is to obey an order without delaying for a moment. That is a response which comes easily to those who hold nothing dearer than Christ himself. (From para. 1 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, this is a description of utter freedom. As I learn to say the mantra in my heart, and listen to it resonate in my heart, then I learn the freedom of the true disciple. I am free to respond, free to relate, from my best Self -- and free to let others be their best selves.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 9-13)

The workshop in which we are called to work along these lines with steady perseverance is the enclosure of the monastery and stability in community life. (From para. 13 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

For me, the stability of which Benedict speaks, is a powerful way to characterize fidelity to the mantra, rootedness in God, and sincerity in selfless attention to the other. 

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraph 6-8)

Your hope of fulfilment should be centred in God alone. (From para. 6 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In Awakening 1, John Main says, [Jesus] took prayer as the ground of [...]being, not in the sense of restoring ancient rites or ancient customs from which people had fallen away, but he was recalling people to the basic, necessary fundamental attitude we must have to God, to God as the most significant and important relationship in our life -- in human life.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 3-5)

Don't let your actions be governed by anger nor nurse your anger against a future opportunity of indulging it. (From para.3 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

"Nursing" anger: even the phrase itself betrays self-deception. "Nursing" anger is steeping myself in the delusions of the ego, believing that such indulgence is vital. What I'm called to to nurture, through meditation, is an awareness of always being able to begin anew.

Chapter 4: Guidelines for Christian and monastic good practice (paragraphs 1-2)

The first of all things to aim at is to love the Lord God with your whole heart and soul and strength and then to love your neighbour as much as your do yourself. (From para. 1 of Ch. 4 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

But, how much do I love myself? Plenty, I would say, with an egotistical self-preoccupation. But do I love myself as created by God? As a being immersed in the mystery of life and sustained each moment by the energy of the divine? It's no wonder to me that John Main teaches that I "must first get in touch with [myself]" before I can love God, and love my neighbor. Mediation helps me get in touch with my true Self.

Chapter 3: Calling the community together for consultation (paragraphs 2-3)

Such an ideal can be achieved only if everyone duly conforms to the authority of the Rule and no one gives way to self-will by deviating from it. (From para. 2 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

These words call me to re-commit myself to the authority of the Rule, that ancient sixth-century guide for rustic Italian monks living radically in the midst of political and cultural chaos. The authority of the Rule for me, lies in its potency as a living document, one that can be made real in my life, about what is required to transform the ego, by loving and living with others, by seeking God.

Chapter 3: Calling the community together for consultation (paragraph 1)

When any business of importance is to be considered in the monastery, the abbot or abbess should summon the whole community together and personally explain to them the agenda that lies before them. After hearing the advice of the community, the superior should consider it carefully in private and only then make a judgement about what is the best decision. (From para. 1 of Ch. 3 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

When any business of importance it to be considered my life, I often consult my friends. Sometimes they answer my questions or even give me advice, but they know that the greatest gift they can give me is their deep and loving listening. This leads me back to listen to my own secret voice, to my relationship with my Source. Then I know what to do, or know I will know what to do.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 8-9)

Frequent reverent reflection on that future reckoning before the Good Shepherd who has committed his sheep to them will, through their concern for others, inspire [an abbot or abbess] to greater care of their own souls. (From para. 9 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I know I became a better driver when I helped my teenagers learn to drive. I know I become more astonished by the gift of meditation when I share it with others. Benedict tells me that selfless concern for another's soul increases my care of my own. What this shows me is that the spirit is both within and among us. We are saved together.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 7)

[The abbot or abbess] should reflect on what a difficult and demanding task they have accepted, namely that of guiding souls and serving the needs of so many different characters; gentle encouragement will be needed for one, strong rebukes for another, rational persuasion for another, according to the character and intelligence of each. It is the task of the superiors to adapt with sympathetic understanding to the needs of each so that they may not only avoid any loss but even have the joy of increasing the number of good sheep in the flock committed to them. (From para. 7 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Although here St. Benedict focusses on the role of the authority, what he paints for me is a picture of salvation -- that we are each unique but we are saved together, by engaging in relationship which brings forth the Other.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraphs 5-6)

They should make their own the different ways of teaching which the Apostle Paul recommended to Timothy when he told him to make use of criticism, of entreaty and of rebuke. Thus in adapting to changing circumstances they should use now the encouragement of a loving parent and now the threats of a harsh disciplinarian. [...] 
      A monastic superior should never show tolerance of wrongdoing, but as soon as it begins to grow should root it out completely . . . (From  paras. 5-6 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

Benedict convinces me of the need for discernment in teaching or correcting when the Spirit urges me to do so. In my experience of discernment in human relations, discernment takes place over time, so that patience and good timing come into play -- patience so that I do not react from the ego, and good timing so that I am sensitive to the right moment for growth or change. But I must be careful not to use time, hedgingly, as a failure to act in an appropriate way.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 4)

[The abbot or abbess] should not select for special treatment any individual in the monastery. They should not love one more than another unless it is for good observance of the Rule and obedience.  One who is free-born should not,  for that reason, be advanced before one coming to monastic life from a condition of slavery, unless there is some other good reason for it. (From para. 4 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I'm not a better meditator than anyone else, and no one else is a better meditator than me. All that matters for me, for anyone, in the practice is growing fidelity. Fruits of meditation manifest according to the grace of God.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 3)

Any, then, who accept the name of abbot abbess should give a lead to their disciples by two distinct methods of teaching -- by the example of the lives they lead (and that is the most important way) and by the words they use in their teaching. (From para. 3 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I may not often be in official positions of authority, but I am always called to be authentic. Meditation helps me to be authentic, because it helps me to find my proper place, to be my True Self, with God at the center of my life. Being authentic means an entry into the human consciousness of Jesus, a dynamic energy source that can take me beyond my ego's limitations to teach or to touch the heart of another.

Chapter 2: Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 2)

However, it is also true that, if the flock has been unruly and disobedient and the superiors have done everything possible as shepherds to cure their vicious ways, then they will be absolved in the judgement of God and may say with the psalmist: I have not hidden your teaching in my heart; I have proclaimed your truth and the salvation you offer, but they despised and rejected me. (From para. 2 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I have not hidden your teaching in my heart: Meditation teaches me that the power of selfless attention can jump from heart to heart, experiencing with joy the source of divine energy within and among us.

Chapter 2:  Gifts needed by an abbot or abbess (paragraph 1)

Anyone who aspires as abbot or abbess to be superior of a monastery should always remember what is really meant by the title and fulfil in their monastic life all that is required in one holding the office of monastic superior. For it is the place of Christ that the superior is understood to hold in the monastery by having a name which belongs to Christ . . . (From para. 1 of Ch. 2 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

If I'm to unpack what this passage might mean to me, I have to identify and abandon my false assumptions about leadership having to do with power or status. Benedict directs me to see that real leadership is about realizing the human consciousness of Jesus in my heart. In this way, I can see that Christ-like leadership expresses itself in selfless attention to the other.

Chapter 1: Four approaches to monastic life

Finally those called gyrovagues are the fourth kind of monk. They spend their whole life going round one province after another enjoying the hospitality for three or four days at a time at any sort of monastic cell or community. They are always on the move; they never settle to put down the roots of stability; it is their own will that they serve as they seek the satisfaction of their own gross appetites. They are in every way worse than the sarabaites. (Para. 4 of Ch. 1 of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

This is a pretty good description of my occasional states of mind -- often at the time of meditation -- always on the move, never settling down, serving my own will, seeking the satisfaction of my imagination, moods, fantasies. And yet St. Benedict calls me to be stable. Stability makes stillness possible. An inner silence can grow. I can simply be.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 8)

With all this in mind what we mean to establish is a school for the Lord's service. In the guidance we lay down to achieve this we hope to impose nothing harsh or burdensome. If, however, you find in it anything which seems rather strict, but which is demanded reasonably for the correction of vice or the preservation of love, do not let that frighten you into fleeing from the way of salvation; it is a way which is bound to seem narrow to start with. (From para. 8 of The Prologue to the Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

In my experience, the mantra has been a way that seemed narrow to start with, and strict, but it proved to be demanded reasonably for the correction of egotism, and the preservation of selfless attention. Meditation is my school for the Lord's service.

Prologue to the Rule (paragraph 7)

Well then, brothers and sisters, we have questioned the Lord about who can dwell with him in his holy place and we have heard the demands he makes on such a one; we can be united with him there, only if we fulfil those demands. We must, therefore, prepare our hearts and our bodies to serve him under the guidance of holy obedience. (From para. 7 of The Prologue to the Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

I long to be ever more obedient in fulfilling the demands of love to myself, to others, to God. Meditation is the most incarnational form of prayer there is, gradually integrating my heart and my body in a fitness to serve.

Prologue to The Rule (paragraph 6)

The Lord himself in the gospel teaches us the same when he says: I shall liken anyone who hears my words and carries them out in deed to one who is wise enough to build on a rock; then the floods came and the winds blew and struck that house, but it did not fall because it was built on a rock. (From para. 6 of The Prologue to The Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

The practice of meditation is my rock, my twice-daily grounding throughout the tumult of my life. But during those times when my life seems mostly to reflect the tumult rather than the rock, I can still recover faith in the firm ground, I can always know what my practice is, and eventually the rock rises up to meet me.

Prologue to The Rule (paragraph 5)

And so to prepare ourselves for the journey before us let us renew our faith and set ourselves high standards by which to lead our lives. [...] Such a follower of Christ lives in reverence of him and does not take the credit for a good life but believing that all the good we do comes from the Lord, gives him the credit and thanksgiving for what his gift brings about in our hearts. (From para. 5 of The Prologue to The Rule of Saint Benedict's Rule, trans. by Patrick Barry, OSB, 1997.)

St. Benedict bids me to set out with a high standard for my life, and also to acknowledge that it is through grace that any good comes about in my heart. For me, this is realized in fidelity to meditation: Nothing to accomplish, only to be. And to remember that it is not my meditation, but God's -- that in meditation I step into the energy of love that flows continually between Jesus and the Father.